Transgender Day of Rememberance

     As I set here today just as I have done for a few weeks now in thought.  I have been thinking about what today means and implies.  I have had a tugging at my heart to do this blog and even felt the need to take a moment in silence for those of transgender men and women who have lost there lives for being who they are.  I felt the need to honor today and dedicate this entry in remembrance because I too am a transgendered woman, even if I do say that I am a woman of transgender experience.

     It saddens me that so many transgender women and men have lost their lives because of them working on being who they are.  It saddens me to know we live in a ward that is so full of hate and prejudges.  Through out history women and men have been killed for being who they are, rather they where women, black, gay and lesbian, and even trasgender.  I just hope that transgender woman and men's passing is not going to be in vain and we too will find equality and tolerances amung our peers.

     This is something that needs to come from the homes and not just taught in school.  Unfortunately the subject of transgender is such a taboo because of religious believes as well as lack of knowledge.  The good thing is the internet is spreading the word.  Even I am trying to educate my family and peers and would like to consider myself an advocate  I also want to make a difference in a persons life.  This is why I want to be a social worker with my own business and an advocate as well.

     Blanch, one of the friends that I have known for many years told me that in order for me to advocate and educate people about being transgendered individuals, we need to start with those around us, including family.  This makes a lot of since.  I have been through a lot from being on the streets during the start of my transition to abuse and more.  I have street experience and that is what I want to share.  I should not fear what my family has to think because of my experience.  I probably dated guys more dangerous than some in my family.

     So, this is what I will do.  I will continue educating those around me and at the same time keep those who have passed on in my mind and heart.  I will advocate not only for me but for them as well.  I pray and ask for protection for the rest of us so we can move forward with our lives and be who we are truly meant to be, and that is the best person we can be and be comfortable in our own body to do so.  Until next time....Stay safe and Blessed Be.

Sometimes it is the Little differences that make a difference

     Once upon a time there was this girl who grew up in the wrong body.  She was always unhappy and as a result was a very quite person.  Part of the reason was because she grew up in a country town so small, every one knew who she was and who her parents where.  This girl always swore that she would get out of the town and one day moved to New York City.  After moving out on her on and from one town to another, each one bigger, and then from city to city; she finally made it there.  And that is where the story really began.
     Sitting here on another cold Sunday morning I think about all the changes in my life.  Even though I grew up in  the country it seems it is taking some time for me to adjust back to the country life.  Have I really been away from the country side so long that I it will take time for me to adjust?  I think what my biggest problem is the fact that since Austin TX all the way up to Denton TX, I have lived in cities where there are public transportation.  Now I am in a place where there is none.  Without a car, I don't feel like I am independent enough because I can not go where I want to go without having to ask for a ride somewhere.  Also, when there is no transportation, it is slightly harder to make friends as I had in NYC
     It is amazing how something so small as public transportation can make a difference in a person's life.  Now days you have to have a drivers license and a car if you don't live in a major city.  This is only one thing that can make a difference in someone's life.  Another thing that can make a difference, at least when it comes to someone like me, someone of transgender experience is how well that person is perceived and accepted.  When you live in a small southern town or city, I guess they way you carry yourself is really important and even then you have those who refuse to understand.
      At my new job, I already had someone complain about me.  They did this for no other reason except for the fact that I am who I am.  I am lucky enough to be working with a company that does not tolerate discrimination and is behind me every step of the way.  I am also luck to have a friend and roommate that is supportive and behind me every step of the way.  This incident however, does make me miss my friends.  The ones I made before NYC and the friends I made after.  These friends I can go to with anything and talk and as much as my roommate/friend is supportive sometimes, I feel I can not do that without him feeling I am making a mountain out of a mole hill.
     As I have always said though, I love a challenge.  Because of my love for them is why I decided to move from NYC and back to Texas.  I said I wanted to connect more with nature and I suppose this is one of the reasons, I got the opportunity that brought me to South Carolina.  This journey is making me the woman I am today.  And so I leave you with a quote a made up a while back.  A true Diva is one that can overcome all obstacle and adapt to situations without compromising who she is.  Until next time.....be safe and Be Blessed!!

Country Fresh

     As I set here drinking my coffee I can not help but think how things have lead up to where I am now in this last year.  I moved from New York City to Denton Texas, and worked for CVS and for the State.  I faced many challenges along the way.  One being people talking about me behind my back.  Sort of like my own private paparazzi.  Now, I am no longer living in Denton TX but a smaller town called Seneca, South Carolina.  Not only do I live in a smaller town but I live in the country part of the town.  And this starts a new chapter in my blog....
     I guess in order to talk about what is going on now, I need to discuss how it came to be that I am now living even more so in the country.  While working for the State, I was having problems making my ends meet.  I could pay my rent but not much else.  Not to mention that I was truly unhappy and it felt like my life was literally falling apart.   My mom could not help me, nor my sisters and I didn't have anyone else in my life that where in the position to help me, except for one.  My friend that I met in New York City.  The one that went and picked me up and drove me to Alabama.
     Winston Churchill once said, "A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty. "  I think Winston had a point because I have known some pessimistic people in my life and they would look at the difficulties in the opportunity of moving to a new state.  When I realized I had an opportunity to get my life back in order, not only did I grab the bull by the horns so to speak, but I realized I was an optimist. 
This is a time that I can work on getting myself out of debt because I will be helping out my roommate with his mom while he works and work when he was off.  I have to admit though that I am having a hard time getting use to things.  One of the hardest things to get use to is not having a car.  So I can not go where I want to go, do what I want to do and so forth.  Maybe sometime after the beginning of the year, I can get a car.  I have already started working on making friends.  Hopefully this year will be different than the last and I can meet more people.  Either way, I plan on staying more on top of my life and this blog.  Until next time...Be Safe and Blessed Be.